Colonial Wargames - The Madasahatta Campaign

Dramatis Personć

Sir Charles Buckpasser-Cleverly Bt.
Governor of the British Colony of New Surrey
Ambitious, able, snobbish, but not a soldier.
Major General Sir Harry Hopeful
British Military Commander
Brave, unimaginative, dogged.
The Firkawi
A tribe of southern Madasahatta. Fishermen and cattle herders. Their Paramount Chief is Rumbletum. There are two subordinate chiefs, Boosoobi and Clinkajeer. The Firkawi are not very brave. They are employed by the British as porters, guides, askaris, etc. Famous for their inability to navigate off tracks in the bush.
The Whoppituppas
Large fierce inland warrior tribe of Bantu stock. Famed for their savage fighting spirit and untiring virility. They are led by their great war-chief King Gottawhippetindali, the bravest and most lecherous of them all. There are two sub-chiefs, Gindrinka and Militini, the two eldest of the King's ninety seven surviving sons.
Makmi Anoffah
Unscrupulous Levantine trader known to be trading with the Whoppituppas, dealing in slaves, gold, guns, ivory, Daz, Mars Bars, and other dangerous goods. He is supported by an Arab band led by the ...
Wazir Aminitago
An Arab Emir noted for organising lightning raids and ambushes and then disappearing as swiftly and suddenly as he came.
Father Ignatius Stoppit S.J.
Stern, fervent, Jesuit missionary. Utterly opposed to drinking, wenching, raiding, cattle stealing, cannibalism, pontoon, solo and other savage amusements. Despite advice to the contrary, he has insisted on establishing a mission station in Whoppituppa country, near to their capital, Hornikraal.
General Freiherr Wilhelm von Boozy, Iron Cross (First Class)
Governor and Military Commander of the German Colony of Hansaland
Old Junker family, stiff necked Prussian. Always wears full dress uniform. Cruel and proud, veteran of the Franco-Prussian War. Able tactician. Hates German Colonies, any overseas service, British, Africans and French (in that order). Is a darn sight too friendly with ...
Jakob Geltmeister
Local representative of the German trading company HANSA OST AFRIKA. Greedy, gluttonous, sottish. Renowned for his complete lack of either moral or business scruples. Derives considerable profit from shady deals with Makmi Anoffah.
The Bairasses
A very poor downtrodden tribe of Kaffir stock living in Hansaland. Heavily oppressed and exploited by the Germans, who use them as porters, miners, askaris, etc., at a standard rate of one Reichsmark per decade and a daily food ration of as much sauerkraut as they can hold between finger and thumb. Their Headman is Chief Ardup who spends his time trying to please the Germans, the Whoppituppas, and the Arabs all at once and wondering where the next meal is coming from. The Bairasses expect a short life and a sticky finish and are rarely disappointed.
The Dodgilot
A tribe of nomads living in the unexplored Bush country of North Madasahatta. They are very elusive, hostile to all other men, and are led by a very fat, indolent chieftain called King Stukinakarsi. After one or two border clashes, the Germans have decided to leave them well alone and get on with the profitable pastimes of gold mining and Bairass whacking.
The British have never met them, doubt whether they exist, and consider that they are a figment of German propaganda designed to keep British gold prospectors out of Hansaland.

Return to Contents

History of Madasahatta

Madasahatta is a large island approximately 110 miles wide and 160 miles long, lying in the Indian Ocean off the East coast of Africa, some 300 miles east of Zanzibar.
It had been left in the hands of its native tribes for hundreds of years, except for the Arab trading town. Port Maleesh, on the River Ogopogo in the south-east, which was established by treaty between the Sultan of Zanzibar and the Whoppituppas in 1784.
Very little interest was shown by European countries until the discovery of gold deposits in the Bloemingstip Mountains in 1891. This event was rapidly followed by colonies being founded, first by the Germans, who established HANSALAND in Central Madasahatta in 1894, followed by the British who established NEW SURREY in the south-west of the island two years later. After several diplomatic incidents, an agreed border between the-two colonies running along the centreline of the Bloemingstip mountains was drawn by the Treaty of Badlikortout in 1898.
It was rapidly discovered that the HANSA OST AFRIKA company knew what they were doing, and all the gold deposits were on the German side of the mountain range. Queen Victoria made it plain that she was not amused by this fact, and the policy of British Governors of New Surrey since then has been to find some plausible reason for extending the colony in a northerly direction.

Return to Contents

Topography of Madasahatta

The main feature of the island is the Bloemingstip mountain range which bisects it in the centre running south-east to north-west. They are impassable except by the Breakneck Pass in the centre and by various untapped trails known only to the Whoppituppas and the Arabs.
There are three main rivers, all rising in the Bloemingstip Mountains. The Bongo, large and navigable throughout, flows through the veldt country of New Surrey south-west to the sea at Lostman's Bay. The Schwein is navigable throughout, flowing east through Hansaland to the Bight of Mietpudden, and the-shorter Ogopogo flowing south-east to the sea through the east coast jungle. This river is only navigable from the sea as far as Port Maleesh.
The east coast is largely dense jungle, the west coast has the Great Fever Swamp, and the Northern Strip is the unexplored bush country of the Dodgilot tribe.

Return to Contents

Climate and Conditions of Madasahatta

Vary between unpleasant and extremely unpleasant. The unpleasant season is the dry season, so called because it is dry and very hot, except for severe thunderstorms when it rains heavily for 24 hours. These storms occur about once per week. During the dry season all trails provide good going for vehicles and guns except during a storm. Infantry, cavalry and pack batteries may move off trail (at half speed) except in swamp, mountain or jungle country.
The Bongo River may only be crossed (except by boat) at the bridge or at Aasvogel's Drift.
The Schwein River may only be crossed (except by boat) at the bridge.
The Ogopogo River can be forded anywhere by anyone who thinks it will do then any good.
The Dry Season lasts from 1st May to 4th November.
The extremely unpleasant season is the monsoon season when it rains all the bloody time and movement is only possible by river boat. The Monsoon season lasts from 5th November to 30th April. (N.B. Guy Fawkes Night is held one day earlier in Madasahatta.)
Needless to say, the movement restrictions only apply to European or Native regular troops.
The Firkawi can move off track without loss of speed in the dry season, but invariably get lost. During the Monsoon season they do not move at all as they hate getting wet.
The Bairasses, like most of the world's poor, do as they are told at all times.
Nobody knows what the Dodgilot do, which is probably just as well.
The Arabs and the Whoppituppas move anywhere except swamps, without loss of speed, whatever the weather, and can usually be relied upon to do just that.

Return to Contents

Geography and Communications of New Surrey

Port Victoria
Capital and harbour at the mouth of the River Bongo, on the western shore of Lostman's Bay.
Exports
Cattle hides and Unsuccessful Governors (i.e. those who have failed to find gold!)
Imports
Birmingham trade goods, Benares brassware, Bibles, Improving Tracts and Coronation Mugs.
The Mission of St. Francis Loyola
Established by Father Stoppit S.J. on the east bank of the Upper Bongo in Whoppituppa Country.
Fort Chupatty
Military and trading post on the Traders' Trail in central New Surrey to protect the Firkawi tribe from Whoppituppa and Arab raiding parties.
Fort George
Military frontier post on the Fort George Trail between the Great Fever Swamp and the western end of the Bloemingstip Mountains.
Rumbletum's Kraal
Main Firkawi settlement at Bongo Bridge on the Traders Trail.
Boosoobi's Kraal
Settlement of a sub-chief of the Firkawi situated at the end of the Dustiboots Trail in eastern New Surrey.
Clinkajeer's Kraal
Settlement of a sub-chief of the Firkawi on the Misery Trail midway between Fort Chupatty and the Mission of St. Francis Loyola.
Hornikraal
Capital of the Whoppituppas on the east bank of the Upper Bongo at Aasvogel’s Drift. Junction point of the Misery and Great Nackerache Trails.
Militini's Kraal
Settlement of a sub-chief of the Whoppituppas midway between Fort George and Hornikraal.
The Great Nackerache Trail
Runs north from Fort Victoria, by causeway north-east across the Great Fever Swamp to the Bongo Ford at Aasvogel's Drift, through Hornikraal to the frontier at Breakneck Pass.
The Trader's Trail
Runs east from Port Victoria, crossing the Lower Bongo by the bridge at Rumbletum's Kraal. It continues east via Fort Chupatty and across the border of the Arab Concession to Port Maleesh.
The Fort George Trail
Runs south from Fort George to join the Great Nackerache Trail east of the Great Fever Swamp.
The Misery Trail
Runs south from Hornikraal via the Mission Station and Clinkajeer's Kraal to join the Trader's Trail west of Fort Chupatty.
The Dustiboots Trail
Leaves the Trader's Trail just west of the Arab Border and runs south to Boosoobi's Kraal.

Return to Contents

Geography and Communications of Hansaland

Bluchershafen
Capital and main port situated on the Bight of Mietpudden.
Exports
Gold, gold, and more gold.
Imports
Sauerkraut, Lager, Bavarian Cuckoo Clocks and framed photographs of Kaiser Wilhelm.
Seemanstadt
Small naval coaling station at the head of the Totenkopf Inlet.
Ardup's Kraal
Settlement of the Bairass tribe in north-east Hansaland.
Gindrinka's Kraal
Whoppituppa settlement north of the Old Arab trail near the jungle border.
Festung Amelia
Military post protecting the bridge across the River Schwein at the junction of the Snackwurst and Lagerstein Trails.
Festung Teufel
Frontier military post on the Wunderbar Trail at Breakneck Pass. Also protects the great Hansa Indermunni gold mine at a secret location on the northern slopes of the western Bloemingstip Mountains.
Festung Askari
Frontier military post on the Lagerstein Trail between the Great Fever Swamp and the western end of the Bloemingstip mountains.
Snackwurst Trail
Runs from Seemanstadt to Festung Amelia.
Lagerstein Trail
Runs from Bluchershafen via the River Schwein Bridge to Festung Amelia and on to Festung Askari.
The Old Arab Trail
Running north-west from Port Maleesh, it crosses the jungle border near Gindrinka's Kraal and then west into Breakneck Pass.
The Wunderbar Trail
Runs from Bluchershafen to Fort Teufel and the Indermunni Mines.
The Geltmeister Line
A newly completed railway, running from Festung Teufel via Bluchershafen to Seemanstadt.

Return to Contents

The British tactical situation at the opening of the campaign in 1914

Garrison of New Surrey
- Port Victoria
  Sir Charles Buckpasser-Cleverly
  Staff of Sir Harry Hopeful
  HQ 213 Brigade
  3rd Battalion, Connaught Rangers (less 1 Company)
  47th Mountain Battery (2 x 12pdr. Guns)
- Rumbletum’s Kraal
  1 Company, 3rd Battalion, Connaught Rangers
- Clinkajeer's Kraal
  1 Squadron, Bengal Lancers
- Fort Chupatty
  HQ and 2 Companies, 1st Battalion, Ludhiana Sikhs
- Fort George
  2 Companies, 1st Battalion, Ludhiana Sikhs
Reinforcements
- Available five map moves after wireless request and must disembark at Port Victoria.
- HQ and 3 Squadrons, 2nd Bengal Lancers
  2 Motor Companies, Frontier Force Rifles (2 Vickers MG)
  HQ 215 Brigade
  11th Battalion, The London Regiment (Finsbury Rifles)
  2/24th Punjab Infantry
  5th (Lahore) Mountain Battery (2 x 4.5" Howitzers)
  6th Battery, Royal Garrison Artillery (2 x 6" Howitzers)

Return to Contents

The German tactical situation at the opening of the campaign in 1914

Garrison of Hansaland
- Festung Teufel
  2 Companies, 1st Battalion Askari Infanterie
  1 gun (1 x 88mm Howitzer), Hansaland Kolonial Artillerie
- Festung Askari
  2 Companies, 1st Battalion Askari Infanterie
  1 gun (1 x 88mm Howitzer), Hansaland Kolonial Artillerie
- Festung Amelia
  1 Company, 12th Marine Battalion
- Seemanstadt
  12th Marine Battalion (less 1 Company)
- Bluchershafen
  10th Wurttemburg Artillerie Batterie (2 x105mm Guns)
Reinforcements
- Available five map moves after wireless request and must disembark at Bluchershafen (except where stated).
- 84th Brandenburg Infanterie Regiment (2 Battalions)
  Provisional Kriegsmarine Artillery Battery (2 x 5.9" Naval Guns) - Will automatically arrive at Seemanstadt at the end of the sixth map move, disembarking from the irreparably damaged cruiser S.M.S. Koenigsberg at the coaling station.

Return to Contents

The opening events of the campaign

Our campaign opens on the 10th May 1914. King Gottawhippetindali is entertaining Makmi Anoffah and Jakob Geltmeister who have just arrived at Hornikraal with a large caravan of whiskey, guns, Daz, Mars Bars, Sears Roebuck Catalogues, and the Finalist and runners-up of the beauty contest Miss Madasahatta of 1914.
King Gottawhippetindali is complaining bitterly of the spoilsport attitude of Father Stoppit. Needless to say, he finds sympathetic listeners in Geltmeister and Makmi Anoffah. At this juncture a runner arrives with a detailed report of Fr. Stoppit's latest sermon, in which he has advocated monogamy, forbidden tax evasion, and declared that the only true ruler of Madasahatta is Good Kingee Georgee.
King Gottawhippetindali decides that this is the last straw and summons his war council. Geltmeister and Makmi Anoffah are invited to attend as fraternal delegates.
Sir Charles Buckpasser-Cleverly Bt., completely unaware of these events, is busy drafting orders for a ceremonial parade of the entire military garrison of New Surrey, to be held at Port Victoria on the forthcoming occasion of his birthday, which fortunately happens to coincide with Empire Day on the 23rd May.
General von Boozy is putting the Wurttemburg Artillery through an intensive training course of field firing, targets supplied by courtesy of Chief Ardup. The Wazir Aminitago is sitting in one of his secret hideouts reading, with deep interest, the latest fat cattle prices quoted in the business supplement of the Firkawi Times.

Return to Contents

The Bungler and Der Stümper

The Madasahatta Campaign spawned two newspapers - 'The Bungler' and 'Der Stümper'. 'The Bungler' ran for thirteen issues before the offices of the newspaper were destroyed by a German shell during the Siege of Port Victoria, whereas 'Der Stümper' only managed one English language edition before it was silenced for ever.
Press here to see copies of 'The Bungler' - the Madasahatta Campaign newspaper - or here to see the only English language edition of 'Der Stümper'.
Please note that the original copies of both newspapers were produced on a typewriter, and are not of particularly good quality. The text is therefore reproduced alongside each image.

Return to Contents